Quitting and Choosing Yourself
As an ex-smoker, it always amazes me to see people still smoking cigarettes. We know – for a fact – that smoking is bad for us and those around us. They’ve banned it in restaurants, airports, hospital grounds, etc., and you still see people light up and inhale like they are taking in the golden hair of Sif.
But, with any vice, quitting is hard. I quit smoking twice. Once in my early 20′s with the help of a nicotine patch – – that was long and drawn out and I eventually started smoking again and trying to hide it from my significant other. Second time I quit, I quit cold turkey. No aide. The emotional stress of cold turkey was tough, but I overcame my pack a day habit. I haven’t had a cigarette since. That was 6 years ago.
First time I quit smoking, I quit smoking for me… The second time I quit smoking, I quit for my daughter — the day I found out I was 2 weeks pregnant with her. While I definitely love her more than life itself, it occurs to me that with a lot of things I end up doing, I put myself last. Would I still be smoking if I didn’t have kids… Probably.
So, I must change my mindset. We all must change our mindset. If we want to be good for other people (the people we love, our customers, our children) we have to put our oxygen masks on first. We have to make our mental and physical health a priority so we can be the best us possible. You must start “choosing yourself” like James Altucher describes in his book Choose Yourself! (which is a fantastic book and if you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it). It may feel uncomfortable or selfish at first, but the people around you will thank you for it.
I’m a long way from where I want to be, but I am choosing myself more and more, and in doing that, my interactions with other people are getting better. So, how do I choose myself?
- I choose myself when I am asked to be on a committee or board of something that I’m not passionate about and I say no
- I choose myself when I leave work at work and I focus on my family at home
- I choose myself when I listen to my body and take a nap, eat something healthy, call the doctor
Choosing myself is also what is allowing me to see past the
imaginary restrictions I place on myself by working in the family business. To be my authentic self, I have to choose myself and do the things that are best suited for my talents and my passions… I’m still trying to figure out what those things are…
Here’s a great, short post entitled “9 Lessons from Choose Yourself by James Altucher”. It will give you a little more insight into the book.